Information By – Jackie Baber
Poison isn’t always something you eat or drink – it can be an emotion. And hate is one of them, eating you up inside and causing destruction. Do you have hate in your life? Read on for ways to control it before it damages you or your loved ones…
Hate is a mighty strong emotion. This mental venom can pollute your spirit, poison your soul and seep into all of the relationships that surround you. Anyone who has found themselves wrapped up in the arms of hate knows how damaging and mind-consuming it can become. Even the word carries power, particularly if it comes from a friend, a family member or a child. While hate can be directed at almost anything – animals, foods, jobs, movies – the most destructive is hatred toward other people.
Today, I want you to ask yourself these questions: Does hate have a place in my life? Do I harbor any feelings of hatred toward myself or anyone else? Hate, when left unchecked, will drain your spirit, tarnish your soul and darken your days. Generally speaking, there are two kinds of hate: the kind that’s turned outward (explosion), and the kind that’s turned inward (implosion). Both of these will eat you up inside, so if you find yourself living with hate.
Hate can motivate violent crime and damaging behaviors.
When one feels like they’ve been seriously wronged or victimized by someone, their discontent and anger carries with it the potential seeds of hatred. Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned. Read this short statement made by a Native American in origin: A grandfather talking to his young grandson tells the boy he has two wolves inside of him, struggling with each other. The first is the wolf of peace, love and kindness. The other is the wolf of fear, greed and hatred. “Which wolf will win, grandfather?” asks the young boy. “Whichever one you feed” is the reply.
The more you hold onto hatred, the more likely it is that the hot coal of the emotion will burn you. And the more you feed it, the stronger it becomes. Maybe this will help you! H.A.T.E. which means Healing Aggressive Thoughts Emotionally. When you begin to feel hateful thoughts, stop, take a deep breath, let it out very slowly and repeat this process for four or five repetitions; Consciously challenge your irrational hateful thoughts; Replace those hateful irrational thoughts with calmer rational thoughts; If your feelings are directed at another person, limit your contact with this person; Employ a “distraction strategy” to refocus your mind – watch a movie, go for a walk, read a book, exercise. Overcoming Self-Hatred, too often, we turn our feelings of dislike on ourselves, which is equally damaging. Hate turned inward can crush your spirit and impact your health. Take overeating, for example, which many say is a symptom of self-hate. By compulsively overeating, you’re actually making yourself sick, putting on unhealthy weight and contributing to a feeling of unattractiveness, all of these forms of self-punishment.
Overeating, however, is only one way that self-hatred manifests itself. Under the influence of hate, some people are driven to injure or cut themselves, engage in risky behaviors and cut off those who love them.
Self-haters are driven to punish themselves for a variety of reasons, such as feeling insecure, guilty, alone, unattractive, unproductive or self-critical. These negative, internal feelings shape and give life to the destructive impulses of self-hatred. As I see it, self-hatred is a corrosive virus of the mind. It weakens you emotionally and makes your body more vulnerable to sickness and disease by compromising your immune system. The antidote for self-hate, to refer to the Native American story earlier, is to simply stop feeding it!
How does one do this? You must forgive yourself for whatever it is that caused this toxic and self-inflicted emotional wound. Here’s one way: Write yourself a letter of forgiveness for your real or imagined offense, just as you would as if you were forgiving a dear friend.